How to cope with the stress of your separation

There's no denying it, the stress of separation can have a heavy impact on your mind as well as your body. Although we can help take some of the stress out of your separation, here is a practical tip you can try at home.

Take all of your stressful thoughts and put them into two different categories: The 'deal with them' category or the 'release them' category.

First category – these are the things that need to be dealt with. They are real issues, choices and decisions that we are faced with. These items require our focus, time and attention - so set aside some time to deal with these issues.

Second category – things that don’t need to be dealt with such as negative or stressful thoughts. These are the thoughts that get us caught up in the ‘what if’s’, playing out our worst case scenarios in our mind and letting fear be the main attraction of the show. What can you do when these thoughts want the spotlight?

1. Recognise your negative thought train in its tracks and STOP IT. Do this before it works up too much steam.
2. Take a deep breath.
3. Make an intentional decision to choose a different thought.
4. Continue breathing, aim for a consistent series of rhythmic, smooth and even breaths. This will allow you to centre yourself.

Finally, consider whether you can “release it”. If it is something you cannot change or fix, move forward and focus on the things which you have control over.

You get to choose what thoughts you give your valuable time and energy to. So, when you're next faced with a stressful thought about your separation (or any part of your life for that matter), place it in the right category and either deal with it, or release it.

For those thoughts that fall into the first category, our team of experienced family lawyers can help. In the wise words of Brendon Burchard - "And then one day I decided that hurry and stress were no longer going to be part of my life. Stress is self-created; I decided to stop manufacturing it. We can choose an internal calm and joy even amit the chaos."